Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Randomize