My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
