Don't you send me to vm
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
