Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
