I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
