yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Randomize
