Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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