There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
