I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
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