And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
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