Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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