I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize