I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
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