I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
