i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
