Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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