I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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