ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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