i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize
