marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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