direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
someone owes me an orgasm
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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