Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
