I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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