So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
