I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
