SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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