apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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