No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
