sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
