And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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