Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
