The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
