Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I want to walk on stilts...naked
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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