Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
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