Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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