You're a womanizer and a bitch.
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Randomize