I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
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