i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
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