Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot