I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban