Texts From Last Night

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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.

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  (403): found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun. http://tfl.nu/lec0
  Replies (67) Good night (3381) Bad night (820)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?

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  (617): This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off? http://tfl.nu/xunp
  Replies (10) Good night (740) Bad night (2756)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.

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  (801): I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials. http://tfl.nu/rax4
  Replies (19) Good night (3431) Bad night (721)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night

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  (508): I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night http://tfl.nu/lkz0
  Replies (2) Good night (2673) Bad night (1019)
• Favorite

  (865): View more from Tennessee

  Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.

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  (865): Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all. http://tfl.nu/2gc2
  Replies (10) Good night (757) Bad night (3156)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making

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  (609): The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making http://tfl.nu/k24g
  Replies (4) Good night (4603) Bad night (894)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.

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  (519): Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife. http://tfl.nu/uqm2
  Replies (13) Good night (1518) Bad night (5342)
• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.

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  (916): New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know. http://tfl.nu/vjk4
  Replies (1) Good night (1548) Bad night (559)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax

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  (201): Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax http://tfl.nu/ffmj
  Replies (1) Good night (1087) Bad night (410)
• Favorite

  (806): View more from Texas

  It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.

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  (806): It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there. http://tfl.nu/4q4i
  Replies (8) Good night (469) Bad night (1405)
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee

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  (904): I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee http://tfl.nu/enfq
  Replies (18) Good night (753) Bad night (1632)
• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question

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  (336): Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question http://tfl.nu/9vj8
  Replies (12) Good night (1531) Bad night (415)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Why is there puke in my guitar?

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Because you puked in your guitar.

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  (203): Why is there puke in my guitar? (860): Because you puked in your guitar. http://tfl.nu/mgzl
  Replies (2) Good night (479) Bad night (771)
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.

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  (832): She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th. http://tfl.nu/6ohj
  Replies (2) Good night (816) Bad night (356)
• Favorite

  (501): View more from Arkansas

  When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex

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  (501): When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex http://tfl.nu/o12p
  Replies (1) Good night (689) Bad night (256)

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