Texts From Last Night

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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping

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  (978): everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping http://tfl.nu/lm3k
  Replies (12) Good night (4144) Bad night (958)
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  (949): View more from California

  Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.

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  (949): Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing. http://tfl.nu/xh2g
  Replies (11) Good night (2894) Bad night (919)
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  (416): View more from Ontario

  Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.

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  (416): Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management. http://tfl.nu/afuw
  Replies (16) Good night (4792) Bad night (591)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.

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  (613): You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese. http://tfl.nu/lvqg
  Replies (9) Good night (4709) Bad night (923)
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  (415): View more from California

  Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.

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  (415): Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle. http://tfl.nu/saxv
  Replies (7) Good night (3768) Bad night (1198)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  We need a plan...

  (1-512): View more from Texas

  Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.

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  (512): We need a plan... (1-512): Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan. http://tfl.nu/879h
  Replies (36) Good night (6541) Bad night (970)
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math

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  (520): She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math http://tfl.nu/3rkm
  Replies (9) Good night (2468) Bad night (1174)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener

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  (570): My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener http://tfl.nu/73wy
  Replies (8) Good night (2021) Bad night (1610)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.

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  (706): I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4. http://tfl.nu/ltz1
  Replies (4) Good night (657) Bad night (1917)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.

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  (702): See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first. http://tfl.nu/1rv0
  Replies (9) Good night (1701) Bad night (730)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  do we own a ladder

  (206): View more from Washington

  We do not.

  (360): View more from Washington

  then how am i on the roof

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  (360): do we own a ladder (206): We do not. (360): then how am i on the roof http://tfl.nu/xqbq
  Replies (18) Good night (5720) Bad night (761)
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  (928): View more from Arizona

  Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!

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  (928): Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!! http://tfl.nu/q83i
  Replies (3) Good night (1213) Bad night (494)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.

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  (973): We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas. http://tfl.nu/opmh
  Replies (5) Good night (1742) Bad night (476)
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  (620): View more from Kansas

  Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron

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  (620): Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron http://tfl.nu/6cz2
  Replies (3) Good night (500) Bad night (262)
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  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN

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  (321): In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN http://tfl.nu/dhlf
  Replies (1) Good night (572) Bad night (375)

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