Texts From Last Night

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  (805): View more from California

  She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up

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  (805): She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up http://tfl.nu/rsnf
  Replies (36) Good night (1044) Bad night (3719)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with

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  (402): what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with http://tfl.nu/hfaq
  Replies (26) Good night (687) Bad night (2482)
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  (510): View more from California

  Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...

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  (510): Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking... http://tfl.nu/p911
  Replies (9) Good night (1010) Bad night (4745)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.

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  (908): when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave. http://tfl.nu/35vg
  Replies (26) Good night (1719) Bad night (6474)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  everybody makes mistakes

  (1-630): View more from Illinois

  i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances

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  (630): everybody makes mistakes (1-630): i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances http://tfl.nu/cihb
  Replies (23) Good night (6884) Bad night (1527)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.

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  (403): He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love. http://tfl.nu/9ope
  Replies (7) Good night (2586) Bad night (863)
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina

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  (920): Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina http://tfl.nu/ae28
  Replies (10) Good night (3050) Bad night (792)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  Are we still banned from the library?

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  (313): Are we still banned from the library? http://tfl.nu/xtiu
  Replies (12) Good night (2535) Bad night (809)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling

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  (781): No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling http://tfl.nu/pro8
  Replies (5) Good night (1509) Bad night (1159)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.

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  (317): You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow. http://tfl.nu/p8o5
  Replies (7) Good night (1690) Bad night (740)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"

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  (647): Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?" http://tfl.nu/c4jm
  Replies (2) Good night (482) Bad night (1024)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake

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  (314): We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake http://tfl.nu/bbs3
  Replies (6) Good night (842) Bad night (528)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.

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  (215): Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late. http://tfl.nu/c0zj
  Replies (0) Good night (514) Bad night (739)
• Favorite

  (947): View more from Michigan

  if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee

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  (947): if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee http://tfl.nu/7tv3
  Replies (1) Good night (672) Bad night (162)
• Favorite

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.

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  (414): I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems. http://tfl.nu/eyas
  Replies (7) Good night (540) Bad night (184)

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