Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
29 Married People Share What They Used To Find Cute About Their SO—But Now Find Infuriating
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
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