So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Khloé Kardashian Finally Speaks Out About The Tristan Thompson Cheating Scandal
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
15 Porn Memes You’re Only Allowed To Laugh At If You’re Over 18
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.