just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
25 People Confess The Most Ignorant Thing Someone Has Ever Said To Them
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
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