Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
