i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
