Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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