i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
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