I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Randomize