I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
