so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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