I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Randomize
