I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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