I showed him my bush... on skype.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
