Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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