i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize
