I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Randomize