He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
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The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
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Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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