just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
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