so that wasnt chicken after all
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
