I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
