I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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