PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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