I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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