Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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